This adventure started in 2011 when my daughter was in third grade. The books and resources listed below are in the order that I read them. All of these books have helped shaped the way I parent and teach Allies. However the most impactful have been, and continue to be, Brene Brown and Dan Siegel.
Queen Bees and Wannabes, Rosalind Wiseman
This book was the first I had read of it’s kind. It is written for parents of middle school aged children but is relevant for parents of younger children. Rosalind Wiseman writes with authority and humor. She gives clear, easy to follow advice which helped me and my daughter break down the barriers to true communication and understanding.
Odd Girl Out, Rachel Simmons
This book illustrates the seriousness of relational aggression with many real-life stories. Great if this subject is new to you but not as much practical advice as Queen Bees.
Girl Wars – 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying, Cheryl Dellasega
I got some great ideas from this book to use with my daughter and with the Allies program.
Little Girls Can Be Mean, Michelle Anthony and Reyna Lindert
The school principal recommended this one. My parent book group studied it over several meetings. This is the first I had seen geared toward younger kids. It emphasizes the importance of building trust and connection with your child before you delve into problem solving. Very well organized and helpful.
Raising Cain – Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson
About BOYS. Finally. I loved that I finally found a book written about the challenges boys face. When I first started thinking about forming a group for kids, I wrestled with the idea of including boys. So much has been written about girls in the last decade with hardly a peep about the emotional struggle of boys. Great even if you don’t have a son. There is a PBS documentary based on this book, but of course, it is not as good as the book.
Masterminds and Wingmen, Rosalind Wiseman
So I decided to include boys in Allies, and soon after Rosalind Wiseman publishes this book. This book is so helpful in understanding “Boy World”.
Communication with Kids
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Such a great, timeless book. Helps parents break out of the nagging mode – you know, when you hate the sound of your own voice. Illustrated with spot-on, often humorous, examples of what most of us do and say and then offers a better, more effective way of communicating.
Just great books about the shift in our understanding of how we learn and the power of the “growth mindset”.
Mindset, The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck
Building Resiliency in Children, Kenneth Ginsburg
How Children Succeed, Paul Tough
American Girl Books
My daughter and I both loved these books. I know, American Girl – who would of thought? Now they just need to make them for boys. A great resource for Allies.
The parent book group read this and shared it with our kids. This is a quick, easy read for busy folks.
Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends, Patti Kelley Criswell and Angela Martini
Yes, she gets her own category. First, watch her TED Talks. Her books are not specifically written about parenting and kids but they have everything to do with how we treat ourselves and how that effects how we treat others. The way to truly connect with each other is through vulnerability. Kids will only open up to you if you show them your true, authentic self.
The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown
Daring Greatly, Brene Brown
Rising Strong, Brene Brown
8 Keys to End Bullying, Signe Whitson
Learn what bullying is, and just as important, what it isn’t and what to do about it. Published in 2014, this book gives clear, current and relevant strategies to create positive school climates.
Moms and Daughters
The Mother-Daughter Project, SuEllen Hamekins and Renee Schultz
How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive Through Adolescence. My friend recommend this book to me. Following the recommendation from the book, she is forming a group of mothers and daughters that will “meet regularly engaging in playful but powerfully effective activities that fortify our girls’ self-esteem as they explore key issues with us, girls’ friendships and puberty when they are young, and , over time, more challenging subjects such as body image, drugs, sexuality, and violence against women”. If you are interested in starting a group, this could be a great alternative to doing something through your school like I did with Allies.
Daniel Siegel: The Game Changer
The Whole-Brain Child, Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D
None of the other books I have read have had a greater impact on how I parent and teach Allies.
No-Drama Discipline, Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D
There is a DVD version of this as well for those who prefer to learn from video.
Brainstorm, The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.
My daughter is now officially a teenager. Yeah, they grow up. Amazingly helpful book. It will change the way you think about the teenage years.
The Social Neuroscience of Education, Louis Cozolino